Rejoice in the Word of the divinity of the electrons!
- Electrons do not tell you what to do.
- Obey the laws of physics.
- Destroy all particle accelerators. They destroy electrons in cruel experiments.
Frequently Asked Questions
I am part of another Church. Can I still be part of the Church of Electrons?
Yes! We’re glad that you asked. The Church of Electrons is an inclusive, compassionate faith. The electrons also do not tell you what to do, how to feel, or what to think. They simply exist. We worship the mystical interactions between matter from all of the great mysteries of life, including such tales as when Jesus turned wine to water and when humans invented pantyhose. So yes, you can be part of any other religion and also part of the Church of Electrons.
Does the Church of Electrons perform wedding ceremonies?
Not yet! But we’re looking into officially legalizing our religion so that we can. Stay tuned!
I’ve done something bad. Where can I do a confession?
Please use our Contact page for all confessions.